I worked in moving industries for nearly 10 years. My job was to ensure that all my client's stuffs delivered in safely manner. I also made sure that they could settle in comfortably by giving them all information they required to connect with new communities. The biggest challenge of moving is not about the stuffs, it's all about the emotional side. You leave a place you have been familiar with for a long time. You leave your friends or your family behind. And there comes an new adaptation with new places and people, which is quite a struggle.
I don't like the idea of moving. I know I have fear of abandonment issue, which makes it harder to deal with moving away. However, my life seems to be destined to keep moving around. When I graduated and got my first job in Jakarta, my mom encouraged me to pursue it. I did what she said. The first few months was a nightmare. I cried every night and hated to be alone. Then I had to deal with moving places also for 7 times in Jakarta. It was because I got a new job, I found a better place, I didn't like the landlord, or the places were about to be sold and renovated. My friends were always in disbelief if I told them I moved again. But I had no choice, right? Then the last moving was back to my hometown.
Eventhough I move back to my familiar place, everything is different. I don't know where my childhood friends right now. They already moved cities and had family. I did reconnect with some of my high school friends. But of course it's not as close as we used to be. We all have different priorities now. Moreover, it's a small city, where people go to work and come home afterward. No after hour meet up or dining or even going to cinema. Basically just less social life. Well, of course because I don't meet many singletons here.
Sometimes I miss my friends in Jakarta. Eventhough I am now surrounded by my family, but friends are different with family. Friends can relate to you more than your family. Friends understand your struggles and your insecurities. While family don't always get that. They assume you're just fine under their care. Of course I do, but there's something I am missing too. I miss talking about absolutely everything for hours with my best friends. I miss catching up with them after office hour. I miss shopping with them. I miss having a night in or staycation together. One of my friends said, I won't always feel this way. I'll find new friends, new people I can connect to on a deeper level. But I can't help feeling I am losing my friends already. May be not literally losing them, just the sense that I can't meet them whenever I need them. And that's actually pretty sad....
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