“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
If I am not wearing hijab, I probably am gonna be a tomboy girl. Yes, I used to be a tomboy when I was kid. When other girls wore dresses, I asked my mom to buy me jeans and shirt and T-shirt. I played with the boys in ricefields, river. I played card with them too and sometimes played badminton with them. My neighbor's kids were all boys, may be that's why. I never had a long hair too in the past. Even when I started to wear hijab I wore pants and shirt and T-shirt. I didn't even have any skirt. I kinda loved that style. But later I realize that hijab is something to make us look feminine. Allah has made men and women different. That's why men cannot wear women's clothes. And women cannot wear men's clothes. It's prohibited and is against the nature. Then finally I change my style altogether. I spent a lot of money to buy abayas, gamis (muslim dress in Indonesia), skirt, and other loose clothing. I look feminine. But my heart is still a tomboy. lol. I still wear sneakers. Because it's so comfortable. But I never wear pants or jeans anymore. My clothes were now loose and feminine style. Alhamdulillaah for Islam :)
However, sometimes on the street when I see some tomboy girls walking, I can't resist to look and say. ooooh I love that style. lol.
Tomboy style is now well known as androgyny style. I don't know where the term comes from. But from wikipedia, androgyny means a combination of masculine and feminine style. It is one of the sexual ambiguity fashion style, if I may say. Perhaps you may heard in the Greek Mythology that this term existed. People used to be spherical creatures, with two bodies attached back to back who cartwheeled around. There were three sexes: the male-male people who descended from the sun, the female-female people who descended from the earth, and the male-female people who came from the moon. This last pairing represented the androgynous couple (taken from Wikipedia).
In my own opinion androgyny and tomboy style is slightly different. Tomboy style still has a little touch of the feminity. Androgyny in contrary is like a woman changing into man. Take a look the difference below:
TOMBOY STYLE
ANDROGYNY STYLE
From the above pictures, you can see the difference right? You may wear jeans, skinny pants, T-shirt, shirt but you don't lose your identity as a woman. There's still a slight feminine cut on that style. That's tomboy! While androgyny is an attempt of a woman to look like a man. This style is well-known with the use of suits, ties, loafers. You know that tomboy never wears that, especially loafers and suits. Sneakers may be but not loafers. Androgyny is also not only related to clothing fashion, but your hairstyle should play a part too. Usually the girls adopt men's hairstyles such as the blunt cut, the skin fade, the undercut, etc. I am as a tomboy would never adopt that kind of style. I am pretty happy with bob or pixie style. PS I have long hair now. The longer it's ever been. lol.
So, the point is, tomboy is all about attitude of a girl which is like a man. There's a bit feminine side of the style. While androgyny is an attempt to be manlike in style and in personality. It's just different.
The last but not least, I wanna show my favorite tomboy style. I can still feel an awe when I see these kind of styles.
NATALIE IMBRUGLIA STYLE IN TORN VIDEO.
I Loveeeeeed it and I still do :)
TOMBOY STYLE WITH BASEBALL T-SHIRT.
I loved this kind of T-shirt in the past. The one with the different sleeve color :)
CLASSIC TOMBOY STYLE
CARGO PANTS AND TANK TOP. TOMB RAIDER STYLE.
Love this too!
Imaan is like a rollercoaster. Sometimes it's so high that you become a very obedient slave of Allah. Sometimes it hits rock bottom and makes you procrastinate in anything that Allah has ordered to us. Why does that happen? Because we're all human. We're not angels.
Prophet Muhammad SAW said: ” The heart of the son of Adam changes more quickly than a pan of rapid boiling water”
In another report he SAW said: “The likeness of the heart is that of a feather in an empty plot of land, being blown over and over by the wind”.
This instability of the heart leads to the increase and decrease of iman, it is natural to have these ups and downs. In another beautiful narration Prophet Muhammad SAW said: ”there is no heart that is not covered by a cloud like the cloud covering the moon when it is shining, and so it suddenly goes dark, but when it(the cloud) goes away, it shines again”.
What makes our Imaan so low? It's because our sins have clouded our hearts. We don't realize that every single thing word we utter may have hurt another person. We don't realize that the act of delaying salat have clouded our heart. We don't realized that our unrestrained glances towards non mahram may have darkened our heart. And many more.
When our Imaan hit rock bottom, we have no desire to read Al Quran, we have no desire to fast. We have no desire to pray on time. Perhaps, we come back to music, or any other thing that Allah has prohibited. I'd like to share about the article in missionislam.com about the signs of weak Imaan:
Signs of weak Faith:
Committing sins and not feeling any guilt.
Having a hard heart and no desire to read the Quran.
Feeling too lazy to do good deeds, e.g. being late for salat
Neglecting the Sunnah.
Having mood swings, for instance being upset about petty things and bothered and irritated most of the time.
Not feeling anything when hearing verses from the Quran, for example when Allah warns us of punishments and His promise of glad tidings.
Finding difficulty in remembering Allah and making dhikr.
Not feeling bad when things are done against the Shariah.
Desiring status and wealth.
Being mean and miserly, i.e. not wanting to part with wealth.
Ordering others to do good deeds when not practising them ourselves.
Feeling pleased when things are not progressing for others.
Being concerned with whether something is haram or halal only; and not avoiding makroo (not recommended) things.
Making fun of people who do simple good deeds, like cleaning the mosque.
Not feeling concerned about the situation of Muslims.
Not feeling the responsibility to do something to promote Islam.
Liking to argue just for the sake of arguing without any proof.
Becoming engrossed and very involved with dunya, worldly things, i.e. feeling bad only when losing something in terms of material wealth.
Becoming engrossed and obsessive about ourselves.
If you have the above symptoms, then you have the weak Imaan. There are ways to increase your Imaan (taken from missionislam.com)
Recite and ponder on the meanings of the Quran. Tranquility then descends and our hearts become soft. To get optimum benefit, remind yourself that Allah is speaking to you. People are described in different categories in the Quran; think of which one you find yourself in.
Realize the greatness of Allah. Everything is under His control. There are signs in everything we see that points us to His greatness. Everything happens according to His permission. Allah keeps track and looks after everything, even a black ant on a black rock on a black moonless night.
Make an effort to gain knowledge, for at least the basic things in daily life e.g. how to make wudu properly. Know the meanings behind Allah's names and attributes. People who have taqwa are those who have knowledge.
Attend gatherings where Allah is remembered. In such gatherings we are surrounded by angels.
We have to increase our good deeds. One good deed leads to another good deed. Allah will make the way easy for someone who gives charity and also make it easy for him or her to do good deeds. Good deeds must be done continuously, not in spurts.
We must fear the miserable end to our lives; the remembrance of death is the destroyer of pleasures.
Remember the different levels of akhirah, for instance when we are put in our graves, when we are judged, whether we will be in paradise or hell.
Make dua, realize that we need Allah. Be humble. Don't covet material things in this life.
Our love for Subhana Wa Ta'Ala must be shown in actions. We must hope Allah will accept our prayers, and be in constant fear that we do wrong. At night before going to sleep, we must think about what good we did during that day.
Realize the effects of sins and disobedience- one's faith is increased with good deeds and our faith is decreased by bad deeds. Everything that happens is because Allah wanted it. When calamity befalls us- it is also from Allah. It is a direct result of our disobedience to Allah.
I'd like to add that when my Imaan hits rock bottom, I usually perform i'tikaf. I stay in the masjid for certain amount of time. It helps me to clear my mind and heart again. It also helps me to ponder upon my life better.
Most importantly, we need to realize that the matter in this world is nothing compared to the matter in akhirah. The burden and the problems which can cause the decrease of Imaan is just a pinch of salt in a vast beach.
Know that what matters most is not in this world, it's in Hereafter.
Let's make wudu, then perform salat, and pray to Allah. Ask Him to guide us all always in His right path. To make us die as muslims, to accept our good deeds, and admit us in His jannah. In Shaa Allah.
After two years, finally my music addiction is cured. I don't get any desire or excitement when listening to music anymore. Addicted to music, sound very natural to so many people, right? It's just something everyone does. But in Islam just because everyone does it, doesn't mean we can do it too. We, as muslims, are commanded to stay away from any musical instrument. Some ulamas still differ in this matter but the strongest opinion is that music is not allowed. Could you really imagine the companions of Rasulullah Salallahu 'Alaihi Wassalam woke up to music, or rode a camel while listening to music? No right? It's not something the salaf would do.
I used to be a music lover. I listened to all kind of music. I could memorize every lyric of top 40 singers. My favorite music bands were Green Day, Red Hot Chilli Pepper, The Script, Secondhand Serenade, and many more. I loved listening to the music in the morning, in the bus while going to the office, when going home from office, and at night before sleeping. There was no day without music, I must say. I loved to quote the lyrics I loved in facebook. It felt like an inspiration to me. My heart beat so fast and was so excited when I listened to my favorite song. I used to go to karaoke with my friends. It could be several times in a month. And I thought it was cool. I didn't realize it was an addiction.
Alhamdulillah Allah guided me.
I bumped into this video in Youtube.
And I started to cry sooo hard. It was like a wake up call. I couldn't imagine if I had to die while listening to music. People usually die in the state of their habit. What will happen if I die in a karaoke room, doing sin. I can't imagine myself being burnt in fire. At that time, the thought of it was just overwhelming.
Then, slowly I started to erase some of the songs in my laptop and mobile phone. The first step was to erase the songs with a lot of swearing. Then, I replaced my songs with nasheeds, with music, such as Maher Zain, and Sammy Yusuf. Gradually, I got rid all of them. No music at all and I started to listen Quran recitation. This step really helped me to cure my addiction completely.
I must admit that sometimes I am still tempted to listen to the music. So I'll just listen to it. But only few days later I get bored with it. And I realize that it's just not my habit anymore.
That tag line saying "You can't live without music". I am still alive without music, even a better life. Alhamdulillaah for Islam.
I always loved Germany squad since 2002 World Cup. It's hard to move on, I know right. I admit that I first loved Germany squad because of Michael Ballack. Yeah, high school crush. I think I kept his photo in my high school diary. lol. Just to clarify, I am not a fan of football, just the World Cup. I don't like watching Euro Cup, or Leagues, or any other football match. Just World Cup. And I always support Der Panzer. No, they don't pay me at all.
Germany was always underestimated as the team who can never "make it". They can only achieve semi finals, or the best was runner up. If people praise Italy, French, England, Netherlands, or Brazil, as the winners, I did believe that someday this team will win. So, I always follow their news and watch their game every World Cup. From 2002 - 2014, so 4 seasons and 12 years. It's like waiting for my soulmate. Hehe. After Ballack gave up his captain position, Oliver Kahn replaced him. And then Phillip Lahm. Last World Cup (2010), I liked Mesut Ozil so much. I put his picture as my facebook profile (okay, I know I am weird). The new good players were rising, like Miroslav Klose, Thomas Mueller, Bastian Schwansteiger, and the new goalkeeper Thomas Neuer. Too bad they were only getting into semi final. This year, I didn't watch many of his matches but I followed the news of them. Till today, the moment of truth, when they beat Argentina 1-0. They finally did it!
I don't know if I will look at the World Cup the same again. The moment of waiting has now paid off. I have watched this team's victory. I don't desire any more moment. There's a lesson to learn that with the hard work, everything will be fruitful. I love how this team struggles. I love how the players always keep their personal life private. I haven't heard scandals done by Germany squad. I love how they maintain their quality in every match. They always managed to be the top in World Cup. But they just didn't get the chance. Now the chance has come and ended beautifully. Perhaps, it's not their achievement, it's mine. The burden of proof is on me. I hope they continue to be victorious in the future.
I always believe the power of prayer. Especially the one uttered during tahajjud time. It's like an arrow that never misses its target. Whenever I get stuck, don't know what to do, I know that I can always say, oh well don't worry I can still pray to Allah. Though may be the situation doesn't change within a blink of an eye, but it's a great feeling to have The One to hold on to. He is The One who is never tired of listening and answering. One of the Companions of Prophet (peace be upon him) used to fear the state when he could no longer pray, rather than the state when Allah didn't answer his prayers. Because if Allah has inspired our tongue to pray, know that He will answer your prayers, said Ibn Atha'illah Al Iskandari.
It was few years ago, I was watching a program named Backyard Adventure at O Channel. The show was about a trip to Mount Krakatau. I was overwhelmed with the show and said to myself, I should go to there someday. I searched some open trip offers. What hindered me was because the price is mostly expensive. The package was up to US$ 100 - 200. I didn't wanna spend that much for that destination. So, it's not until this year, my dream came true. And I got a pretty good bargain for only US$ 40 per trip. Good deal, right?
There were five of us there. We went there via Merak to Bakauheni, then heading to Sebesi Island through Canti harbour. It was a long long journey. It took approximately 8 - 9 hours to go by this route. I would recommend anyone to go to Karakatau via Anyer, Banten. It will be more efficient. We were really knackered because of this long journey.
We arrived in Krakatau the next day and climbed there at 11 AM. I thought it would be a hot exhausting journey. But, fortunately not. I could feel the breeze of wind during my journey to the top. The track looked easy. But when I tried it myself, dang it's hard. Because it was sandy. It was kinda heavy to move up on the sandy land. After almost giving up, finally I arrived at the free zone. It was the only zone we were allowed to be. Krakatau is an active volcano which can explode anytime. So, clearly it's a safety concern for the tourists.
The view above was breathtaking. We were surrounded by Sunda strait and we could also see some islands nearby. It was a worthy trip. And I began to love trekking. I want to climb many more mountains in my country.
Indonesia has hundreds of volcanoes. We can never run out of mountains.
It felt like I am having debts if I don't write my travel experiences in my blog. Though this destination was explored last February 2013, because of the procrastination, I did not publish it yet (bad habit. Hehe).
I went duo travel to West Sumatra. We got a very cheap ticket. Rp. 150,000 (US$ 15) return! Can you imagine how lucky I am? I always wanted to go to West Sumatra. Because when I was kid, I used to read Indonesian literatures, like Siti Nurbaya, Salah Asuhan, Layar Terkembang, Sengsara Membawa Nikmat. Most of the novels were set in West Sumatra. I was only 9 or 10 and yeah I read them all. Because my father worked in National Education Department.
So we arrived there in the morning. We went directly to Bukittinggi with chartered car. Be careful with the scam at Padang airport. The drivers usually offer high price and it's really difficult to haggle. We got scammed too. We paid Rp. 70,000 when it was supposed to be Rp. 50,000. If we couldn't speak Minang (the traditional language there), it is easy to fall prey.
Minangkabau airport, Padang, West Sumatra
Around three hours later, we arrived at Bukittinggi. Fresh air welcomed us. The weather in Bukittinggi was nice and chill. I was directly in love with the city. Bukittinggi is also one of the main destinations for tourists in West Sumatra. There are many foreign tourists there. We didn't book a hotel beforehand so we searched for a hotel. It's not difficult to find a backpacker hotel there because there are many of them.
After getting our bags in our room, we started to walk around the city. Bukittinggi is a small city and is pretty much walkable. We went to the icon of Bukittinggi or West Sumatra in general, which is Jam Gadang. It's a clock tower. More like Big Ben in London only smaller. We took some pictures there. Jam Gadang is surrounded by a market and some restaurants. It was lunch time already so we decided to eat nearby. Of course we would eat Nasi Padang. I am a fan of Padang food. Padang food is located all over Indonesia and all over the world too. But trust me the most delicious one is the one at the original place. It's more spicy and just delicious. No restaurant in Jakarta or Singapore (where I've tried one too) can beat the original Padang food. Yummm.
Then the next destination, we went to Goa Jepang (Japan Cave). It is actually a bunker made during Japan colonialization. I was not at all impressed with the cave, because I am a claustrophobic. I felt the urge to get out as soon as possible while I was underground.
Overlooking Japan cave is Ngarai Sianok. It is a canyon and the view is breathaking. We took some pictures with its background. Later we knew that we could actually go down there. I was challenged, but of course we didn't have much time.
The view of Bukittinggi from my hotel
Jam Gadang (Gdang Clock Tower)
Ngarai Sianok
Ngarai Sianok
The next morning is gonna be a loooonnngg journey. Our next destinations are Danau (Lake) Singkarak and Lembah (Valley) Harau. Those are two places far away from each other. I discussed with my friends what was the best way to go to both places. Renting a car was a no. It was only two of us and it would be so expensive. There was no direct transportation to get there, it would be wasting time. Fortunately, the hotel employee offered us to motor bike riding there. There will be two motorbike riders who would accompany us. The price haggling was somewhat very nasty. I'll tell you people's habit there. Once we agreed with a certain price, few minutes later they came back to us asking to add the amount. I was like, no no take it or leave it. They acted like okay, transaction failed. But the next morning they knocked our door and said okay we'll take the price. It was upsetting to see their inconsistence. Tips for you, be strict and upfront. Take it or leave it.
So, we went by motorcycles finally to Danau Singkarak. It was one hour journey. Lake Singkarak is famous internationally for Tour De Singkarak, the famous international bike competition. The view along the journey was breathtaking. When we arrived at Lake Singkarak, the view was even more breathtaking. The water is blue. And it was soo quiet there. Some people was swimming. Too bad, I didn't bring my swimsuit.
The next destination was Valley Harau. The journey took approximately 2-3 hours. When we arrived there I was gobsmacked with its beauty. Nothing could describe that. It was peaceful there. There was one hotel there. And I said to myself if ever come back to this place again I will stay in that hotel. Just imagine the morning there in the valley, quiet, chill, and very relaxing. Aaaahhh. It was the most beautiful place I've ever seen.
This was the houseof Buya Hamka. Now it's used for madrasa and masjid
Beautiful Lake Singkarak
So quiet here
I can't stop taking pictures!
View from a hill
OTW to Lembah Harau
Almost there
The view, Mashaa Allah :)
I love the yellow ricefields :)
Inside the valley
The next day we were supposed to go to Padang and explored the places there. But we were too in love with Bukittinggi. We hesitated to go and indeed we didn't. We did sightseeing around Bukittinggi and tried all kind of food. Only one place was still a mistery, Fort Rotterdam. We've been searching all day but couldn't find it.
Lovely town of Bukittinggi
Two kids went to school
I am in love with this city!
Food fiesta!
The last day we went back to Padang heading to airport. Before that we went to one mall there first. I got the chance to buy one pair of shoes. Ahahaha. Next thing, the plane was delayed and we had to wait for like two hours. But I got priority boarding. Blessing in disguise :)
The conclusion is I love West Sumatra. It has beautiful landscapes, delicious food, good weather, though I have a tad bad experience with the people. I would love to live there, especially at Bukittinggi, and farming may be. Lol.
The vlog. Mind the quality of the video, a bit shaky :(
I am in the project of reading as many books as I can! Wish me luck! Here are some of the books I plan to read: - 23 Things They Don't Tell You About Capitalism by Ha Joon Chang
- Al Hikam by Ibn Athaillah Al Iskandari
- Fawaidul Fawaaid by Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyah DONE
- Utsul Tsalatsah by Ibn Utsaimin DONE
- The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin DONE
- Wedding Night by Sophie Kinsella DONE
- Divergent by Veronica Roth DONE
- Eat to Live by Joel Fuhrman DONE And many more...... I will keep the list updated ;)
