Do you know why I contacted you again intensively? It was because I was lonely. Deep down I know that you will not change. Everything is not going to change no matter how many times I try differently. It will always be the same. You're going to be the same and your actions are too. Sometimes I feel so weak to keep coming back to you. I keep doing things I used to do. Getting your attention. Hoping this time it will be different. But actually not. It's gonna be the same unless there's a miracle. Do I believe in miracle? I do. But not everyone is so lucky to have that. So I guess I have to stick to the rules, not the exception. But I don't want to beat myself up. I want to pardon myself. Loneliness is common. People get lonely from time to time. This too shall pass. But this writing is going to serve as a reminder that everything now is not the same like it used to be. I have learned my lessons and I have to move on. I should not try to get your attention anymore. I should just leave you alone. Don't get me wrong, I have forgiven you with all my heart. There is no grudge feeling anymore toward you. It's just that when I talk to you again everything in the past was flashing back uncontrollably. I just don't want to experience that. I want to be with someone new. Someone with whom I feel secure. Not doubtful like I used to feel about you. There is nothing wrong with you we just wanted different things. I hope life takes us to new places better for you and me. Or if God has destined us to be together, I hope we will meet again in a better circumstance, whatever it is. It's such a lie when people say "you'll get over him". You can never get over someone you once cared about. He was kept in an album, and sometimes you look it up just for reminiscing the old story. I think I am not ready to come back to that old story between us right now. So let me walk away from you. I just don't want the loneliness to be the sole reason why we're together again. I want us to be together for different reasons. Otherwise, we walk separate ways. Forever.
But there is one thing for sure, I will never forget you.....
