Cheese In The Trap: A Story of A Narcissist

I always love Korean drama. Moreover K-Drama these days are more varied. K-drama in the past mainly showed the relationship of a poor girl with a son of a chaebol (read: conglomerate). It's always like a Cinderella story. But recently the story line has evolved so much. There are dramas about real life of Korean people. Dramas about family and love story of a college students or white-collars love story. And what I like most is the rising of psychological dramas. I have watched several of them like Kill Me Heal Me and Mask. Now I want to give a bit review about this K-Drama named Cheese In The Trap. I categorize this as a psychological drama not only just a love story between college students.

This drama has successfully portrayed Jung as a narcissist. This what makes me interested. Because I have bumped into several narcisssists in my life. So, when I watched this K-drama, I felt like I knew how Jung's mind worked, and I knew how it felt to be Seol. Before I begin with the story, I'd explain about what narcissism is about.

A narcissist is someone who has grandiose ego. A little bit of ego is fine. But when you have too much ego, you are in trouble. Someone who has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a very sensitive person. He will be offended with just a slightest criticism or advice. He can't accept it. He is also extremely jealous when another person is more successful than him. And the worst trait of NPD is that he is manipulative. He will do almost anything to achieve his goals. Even if someone else is hurt or betrayed, he wouldn't care. Sounds scary, isn't it? But bear in mind, that a narcissist is not actually a really bad person if you understand them. Deep inside he is extremely insecure and vulnerable. However, they mask those characters with charm, charisma, and attractiveness. You will never believe that a narcissist is a bad person. Usually even they are very good looking and charming.

Now back to Cheese In The Trap, why Jung is a narcissist? Even from episode 1, I could understand that he was manipulative. He did several things to take a revenge. Like informing spreading the news anonymously that his senior was a foul. Then, in another scene, Seol was being attacked by a stranger. He knew of this but he refused to help. Later in the episode, he was mad with Seol because she was getting closer with In Ho, his almost-adopted-brother. In so many scenes, it was shown so many ways he "punished" people who were not inline with him. Even until the last episode, I was still wondering whether he truly loved Seol or she was just a part of the victim of his manipulations.

On the other hand, Seol was very confused with his actions. Deep inside she knew that Jung didn't do the right things. She confronted him oftenly. But it always ended up with Jung begging for apology or she finally tried to rationalize his behaviors. Realize it or not Seol was trapped into his selfishness. May be that's why the title is "cheese in the trap". Because you look at something perfectly good not realizing it's a danger. Jung is handsome, caring, romantic, and charming. All girls want to be with him. But on the other hand, Seol never knows whether the characters he shows are true or fake. 

When you're trapped with a narcissist, it is like living between fantasy and reality. You really want to believe that you will be happy with him. But deep inside, you have doubts that it is just a fantasy. And the truth is yes, you can't never be really happy with someone who has grandiose ego. Seol could not never be really happy with Jung. She was in a denial mode all the time. They finally broke up.

I really love the ending of this drama. Please don't read this if you plan to watch it:

On Jung's part he finally realized his mistakes, which was very good of him:

He says, “Let’s break up.”

Seol blinks back tears and asks why, because she’s okay with him. He answers that he knows she’d try hard to understand and accept him, as she’s done thus far: “But while you were struggling on your own, growing tired, and getting hurt, to be honest I didn’t understand why you did it. The problem is mine, and I was the one who should have been making the effort.”

And when Seol said this, I call it a closure. She grew bitter because of him but she understood that the breakup was for the better.

"However, my desire to get to know that person better is decreasing. While I am left growing more and more bitter, I wonder if there was another time when I worried so much about things just to get to know a person better. He may need the same amount of time I needed to get to know and accept him. No. He may need even more time than I did".

"Sometimes, life doesn't not give you what you really want. No matter how badly you want it"