Hope For The Best

It is been a while I do not write in my blog. Last time I said I was having pain in my lymph nodes. It was mumps actually. My colleague infected me. But, I have recovered from mumps, Alhamdulillah. It took about two weeks for recovery. It was a total bed rest. But the other thing comes up. I start to hear a ringing sound in my left ear since last Saturday. It is not loud, but quite annoying. I have done some searches, and the name of this ear problem is tinnitus. It is quite depressing actually when you have this problem. When I am on my bed and the situation seems so quiet, I can hear this ringing sound in my ears very clearly. Even if I try to cover my ear with ear protector, it just does not work. I am still afraid to see the doctor. I am just afraid that I will be gobsmacked with the medical bill. Medical cost in Jakarta is quite expensive.I do have an insurance, but it only covers for hospitalization service. So, for outpatient care, I have to bear it on my own. That is why I am still thinking twice. I do not have any idea why this tinnitus occurs. It may be because of the infection inside my left ear, or may be because of medication I took for mumps. Some medicines, like antiviral medicines can cause tinnitus also. However, it is only my guess. The thing I worry is that there is no cure for tinnitus. I am scared if I have to live my whole life with it. There are some therapies indeed, but it only reduces the intensity of tinnitus. Nothing like a medicine which can cure it. Right now, I just hope for the best. I think I am going to see a doctor this Saturday, and I hope the doctor will say okay, so I can feel relieve. In addition, I am also up to apply a scholarship in Korea. I need just one single document before I can apply. The TOEFL certificate. I hope that my TOEFL score is great. And hopefully I can apply for the scholarship and get shortlisted. Allah knows what is best for me. Sometimes it upsets me when I need to do many things but my body just feels weak. But may be it is a sign from Allah that I do not have to be hurry in everything. Just slow down and relax. My pain will be gone and everything I do will just run smoothly. May Allah blesses me. Amin.