Your Lord Has Not Taken Leave of You

The description of Ad Duhaa verses in Al Quran

Wad duhaa

By the morning brightness

This is the first thing you need to hear when you’re depressed: Wake up, look at the sunshine! Everything in life is not doom and gloom– you just have to look up!

Wal laili iza sajaa

And [by] the night when it covers with darkness,

Why is this aayah immediately talking about darkness? As a reminder to us that the night is meant to cover and give us comfort and rest.

Generally when we’re depressed, we tend to get into a very bad sleep pattern by staying up at night and sleeping all day, thereby worsening our state of mind. This aayah reminds us to use the night as a comfort to ease our distress.

Ma wad da’aka rabbuka wa ma qalaa

Your Lord has not taken leave of you, [O Muhammad], nor has He detested [you].

This is a very powerful verse from Allah telling us that He doesn’t hate us and hasn’t forgotten us– reminding the depressed person that He is always by his or her side!

Walal-aakhiratu khairul laka minal-oola

And the Hereafter is better for you than the first [life].

Many times when we’re depressed we think: Is this all my life is going to be? Is it never going to get better?

This aayah serves as a perfect answer to those questions, reminding us that life in this world is temporary and that Aakhirah certainly a better, more permanent place for us than this world could ever be.

This makes us look forward to attaining our place in Jannah and helps us look at any problems in our lives as temporary tests of our faith from Allah.

Wa la sawfa y’uteeka rabbuka fatarda

And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied.

A promise from Allah that very soon he will give us a massive reward (Jannah) and we will be happy! Subhanallah!

Isn’t this the best thing to hear when you’re depressed and fed up with this worldly life and the problems you’re facing?

Alam ya jidka yateeman fa aawaa

Did He not find you an orphan and give [you] refuge?

From this verse onwards, Allah gives us reason to believe His declarations and promises in the first half of the surah.

Now many of us may think: how would this aayah about orphans relate to the majority of us? Think about it– weren’t there many times in your life when you were sick or lonely and felt like you had nobody who cared about you? Who was the only one by your side at that time? Allah! It was He who took care of you and guided you out of that stage in life.

Wa wa jadaka daal lan fahada

And He found you lost and guided [you].

How many of us, despite being born Muslims, have found ourselves misguided and straying away from Islam in the past? It was Allah who gave us that hidaya and brought us back to the straight path and to Him and made us practicing Muslims. Alhamdulillah!

Wa wa jadaka ‘aa-ilan fa aghnaa

And He found you poor and made [you] self-sufficient.

Many of us have probably gone through many periods in our lives when we have been short of money and wealth. Now when we look back we realize that it was only Allah who gave us that rizq in some form and got us through those tough financial times.

When a person is depressed, giving him or her examples of how Allah has helped them in the past will strengthen their conviction and belief in the promises Allah makes in this surah for their future.

Fa am mal yateema fala taqhar

So as for the orphan, do not oppress [him].

This aayah is the ultimate antidote to depression!

Depressed people are mostly consumed with their situation and feel that nobody could possibly be in a worse situation.

This aayah reminds us to look at people who are in far worse situations than ourselves when we’re feeling hopeless and depressed— Look at the orphans,who have no family or loved ones and nobody to care for them. We have families and parents who love us, a roof over our heads and food on the table and we still think we’re in a bad situation? Subhanallah!

Wa am mas saa-ila fala tanhar

And as for the petitioner, do not repel [him].

Another example is of the beggar – to once again remind us of the many material blessings that Allah has given us that we take for granted – food, clothing and shelter. How many of us have ever gone to sleep hungry? How many of us don’t have clothes to wear? Or don’t have a home to go to?

These examples of the orphan and the beggar are ones we should constantly remind ourselves of to be thankful for the numerous blessings Allah has given us, get over our depression and feel connected to Allah again, out of gratitude.

Wa amma bi ne’mati rabbika fahad dith

But as for the favor of your Lord, report [it].

This final aayah is about maintaining that renewed faith and bond with Allah – by pondering, glorifying and talking about the blessings of Allah! Either in terms of halaqas, discussions with family and friends or even da’wah! Dhikr, reading quran and listening to lectures are also great ways to keep the remembrance of Allah close to your heart!

So the next time you feel disconnected, disheartened or depressed with your level of Imaan and your connection with Allah – read Surah Ad Duha and ponder over its meanings – Inshallah it will restore your faith and increase your belief in the greatness and power.

Source: http://understandquran.com/how-sura-ad-duha-can-change-your-life.html

You Are Complete

There are people who no matter you love them, will never be able to love you in return. Not because the feeling is unrequited, but because they are incapable of loving. Why are some people incapable of loving? The nature of human being is to love one another. The basic thing people need is to love and to be loved. Yes, it is true. But somehow, people turn out to be cold hearted because of certain things such as insecurity, low self esteem, and also some traumatic experiences. There are people who are amazing. People believe that they are wonderful, smart, and pretty. But they will never believe what people say. Because they have deep seated insecurities. May be when they were kids, they were verbally abused by the closest family or friends. That's why they have low self esteem. There are also people who believe that none will love them. May be because their significant other had betrayed them, which makes them trust people less. There are always reasons why people act one way or another.

We name them narcissists, insecure people, and many more. Many psychological researches have been done to analyze their behaviors. The real fact is that they don't understand why they act like that. They need help. But none can help them. Only they can help themselves. Only by realizing that they have problems that they can change themselves. Only by opening up their old wounds and accepting that the wounds were there to teach them something, that they can heal themselves. They hurt people in the process. But they will never realize it until it's too late. They hurt people who were kind, supportive and patient enough to deal with their issues. But they were too stubborn to understand it. And finally only regrets will come when those backbones, those supporters were gone. They are longing for love, but it's only an idea of love because they can never achieve that feelings of fulfillment. They always look for fulfillment outside because they think they are not enough. They are lonely. The real loneliness is when you don't love yourself. Isn't it miserable?

If you're reading this and feeling the same thing, please reflect upon it and change. You're a beautiful human being. You are loved. You are not unworthy. You're enough. You're complete. Keep repeating those mantra and you'll be amazed how emotionally healthy you'll become. And if you are at the receiving end of the treatment from people who can't love, keep in mind that it's not you to blame. You can't change them. It's not your responsibility to fix them. Just let them go.

Kawah Ratu: Another Trekking Experience

I seriously begin to love trekking. Eventhough I may be the slowest from all the trekkers but I still enjoy it. That was what happened when I trekked Kawah Ratu (Queen Crater) in Halimun Salak Mount last month. To be honest, it was the most difficult trek I've ever climbed. It was rocky and slippery and my feet hurt so much. I was limping for a week after the trekking. But I don't think I'll stop. I love it when I am able to achieve something. Trekking is one way for me to get out of my comfort zone because it is something that challenges my physical strength.

One more thing, I met some great companions from last time Meetup trip. They were from Malaysia, Taiwan, and India. They were very friendly, I almost wanted to hug them and said, "Would you be my best friends, please?" (all right, that's a bit over the top). But really, I wouldn't mind having a trip with them again. I think I have to be surrounded by more extroverted people so I can ease my clumsiness. It's such a rare thing for wto be able to connect instantly with new people.

Anyway, here are some pictures from the trip......

About Willpower

If there is one thing I should celebrate this year, is how I cope with my addictive personality. Oh no, I am not a drug addict or alcoholic like that. Addictive personality is several traits that enable a person in developing addictions. Addiction can be in many things, for example, food addiction, game addiction, shopping addiction, or even love addiction. The person having addictive personality usually has impulsive behavior. They sometimes act impulsively without considering the impact of their action. They will feel guilty afterwards. But they just can't help it. They're trapped in the cycle. This trait is also an indication that a person is lack of willpower and is unable to have commitments in goals and values. And as we know, addiction can create stress and depression.

Yes, after I learn more about myself, I am guilty of the above listed traits. I have several bad habits that I want to break free. And I have this love addiction. I used to question myself, why do I keep loving emotionally unavailable men? Now the answer is, because I am addicted to that sort of characters. The emotional unavailability triggers my curiosity and it makes me feel challenged. It is like a task I need to accomplish. When you think relationship is a task to accomplish, then you're doomed. I can see why it never worked out. 

This year I have made a commitment to break free from those people in my past. I don't want those emotionally unavailable people keep haunting my life. I now realize that they are not a perfect match for me, indeed. I don't blame them, but it is a lesson learned. I am committed not to contact them anymore, and I've done it. Yay!

There are also several bad habits that I need to get rid of. One of them is food addiction. Usually when I am stressful, I choose junk food as comfort food. But now I am trying to be a more mindful eater. I make a journal of what I've eaten in a day so I can see if I have failed to eat healthy or not. If I am failed then I'll just write it down. But I don't give up on it. I will continue my attempt the next day. This so far has been working greatly on me because I become more aware of what I eat and what I should avoid. I haven't seen the result yet. But I try not to think about the result but just enjoy the process.

Willpower is the key of every success. Someone who is lack of willpower will not be able to accomplish their goals. To have strong willpower we have to be able to implement delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is the ability to resist the temptation. People usually want instant gratification. For example, I have been working hard today, I will buy pizza for dinner. You do not care that it will ruin your diet and make you start all over again. If we practice delayed gratification, we believe that we're suffering now but we will get long term benefits, e.g. healthy body. Isn't it cool if we're able to practice this? It's indeed a hard work but it will pay off surely one day.

I might develop a new addiction, though..... work addiction -_____- 

Well I hope it's just because I've been busy.... :D