Why I Kissed My Online Dating Good Bye

Who never participates in online dating? I think in this digital era, almost everyone has tried it. It's very simple and easy to find matches today. Your match is right there..... on your hand. Well, at least that's what the ads said. Not in my case.

After almost a year finding my luck in online dating, I finally give up. Here's why:

Too many options but no consolation

When you're given too many options, it doesn't make your life feel better. You're just getting more confused. Just like with this online dating. You open your apps and men all over the world pop up in your screen. Then you think they're cute and you chat with them. Suddenly you love this Caucasian guy and think they can be your type, meanwhile you never date a Caucasian guy in a real life. I am not being racist here, but relationship needs compatibility. In terms of life principle, religion, etc. My suggestion for online daters is to determine your preference and don't try out with everyone you think cute and nice. It will be so hard though to know if they are compatible just based on the online profile and one or two pictures. You have to start the same kind of conversation. The same kind of "getting to know each other" moment over and over again. It's not a matter of days, months, or years. It's a matter of minutes and hours. Very exhausting.

Ignorance and lack of respect

I received numerous sexual related comments in online dating. Eventhough I could just block the people but you know the memories were still there. I could not erase the sexist and immoral comments from my mind. You have to be thick skinned when you enter online dating world. Because most people are just looking for hook up, casual sex, friends with benefit, or they may be just bored. If you're looking for a serious relationship, please think again. I repeat, not all like this, some are lucky enough to find their partner from online dating. Not in my case.

First date and end of story

I went on several dates from online too. But after the first date, they were like MIA (read: missing in action). And I couldn't say they were good ones. I went to a movie once with a guy and he was being touchy feely. I was glad he didn't contact me afterwards. And the second guy I met, he was not interested to talk. It was the quickest date ever, only half an hour. I was about to meet another guy, but later he told me he was married with one kid. And he thought it was something common to meet up with someone eventhough he's married. Thank God, I didn't meet him.

It has become a routine

And I hate routine......

Seriously, everynight after work I would swipe left and right. In my lunch break too or when I met with friends, and also when I was traveling too. I was worried I could miss my opportunity to meet "the one" if I didn't swipe at that moment. I realized that I was a bit addicted, it was like I was walking on eggshells. I became so glued to my phone and I ignored everyone around me. I feel bad about that. I think I missed my productivity when I was in online dating. I missed being present, being at the moment.

Those are few reasons why I gave up online dating. I never think it as a bad idea. It is just I have tried it and it didn't quite work for me. Well, at least I have tried it right......

Now what I want to do with my life is be content with where I am at. I am content being single. I am okay with no boyfriend or spouse. I am fine without seeking a relationship. It doesn't mean I give up. I still pray to God that someday I can get married. But I trust Him more. I trust that He will show me the best way to meet my future husband. And before that moment comes, I will shift my focus back to my passions, like swimming, running, traveling, and many more. I am also growing my relationship with God. I am trying to be His better servant. I will still open my heart to every man who wants to get to know me. I believe after all the efforts I have made in finding my "man", it's just a matter of time that he will show up out of nowhere.